| Memphis School of Servant Leadership |
| Contact Information: Phone: (901) 320-7005 E-Mail: memphisssl@gmail.com |
| Our Journeys, Our Stories: |
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| I, Too, Am Called by Onie Just as God called Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, I too am called. I hear God saying, “I have seen the misery of my people; I hear them cry out and I am concerned about their suffering. Go Onie and be present to them, show them my love.” To the children of Binghampton, suffering the injustices and bondage of poverty; the parents who feel inadequate as parents and as people, often in bondage to alcohol and drugs to numb the pain; the remaining white middle class residents caught in their own agonizing bondage of fear, hate and prejudice; the AIDS victims trapped in bondage to illness, isolation and loneliness; and countless others in bondage to fear and prejudice, I hear the call: “Go, Onie, and offer a kind word, a friendly smile, a warm hug; go and be present to my people. Every bush you pass with fire is flaming and every spot you tread is holy ground.” I have come to understand that I must love both the oppressor and the oppressed, just as God loves me. I can get all caught up in doing good works for the oppressed and can truly love them unconditionally, but I frequently have difficulty loving the oppressor. But scripture says to me that unless I have love for all things, I have gained nothing. I, like Moses, feel unworthy, inadequate, and ask, “Who am I that I should free the people from bondage? I am not powerful, I am not a good speaker, and I am completely inadequate.” And God just says, “But you are available. Go and I’ll be with you. Speak up against injustice, be an advocate for the poor and marginalized, help free both the oppressed and the oppressor. Enter into the gardens of Gethsemane and share table with those who are suffering.” Four years ago, I knew in my heart that I was called to be with the people in Binghampton, and think I felt that I was answering the call. I did spend a lot of time in the neighborhood, offering kind words and friendly smiles and entering into the gardens of Gethsemane. I guess that was the best I could do at the time. I was still too proud and too fearful to live there. I blamed this on someone else’s prejudices, but the truth is that I had prejudices of my own, having nothing to do with race or sexual preferences or AIDS and everything to do with economics. I was comfortable where I was. I might not be hearing God correctly. I thought, “What would people think if they found out I lived in Binghampton?” I could come into the neighborhood, build a few relationships and impose programs that would spread God’s love, but I could not bring myself to live among the poor and marginalized. I resisted the call, kept running from Nineveh, thinking that somehow I could satisfy God with the time I spent in the neighborhood and giving lip service to being in solidarity with the poor. I have come to understand now that no matter how hard I resist something, if it really is what God is calling me to do, it will not go away. Today I feel at peace with the call to live in Christian community in Binghampton. I feel at home in God’s love. Although there are still a few scary things about it, I no longer have any reservations about living alongside the poor and marginalized. I see this as a gift and a celebration of an already established unity instead of a fearful attempt to restore a broken order. Christ’s order is already restored and my actions can point to the healing, restoring, redeeming and re-creating presence of God within the community. I believe that God has been preparing me for this mission all my life. I have experienced many of the same struggles that these people are experiencing. I have experienced God’s love and grace as I walked through hopeless, painful situations and emerged on the other side with a sense of healing and wholeness. This, I believe, is my great calling -- to share in the pain and suffering of the poor and marginalized and to be a witness to God’s transforming love within the community. I don’t have any more power of my own than I did four years ago, but I have learned to trust God with my life and to know that his grace is sufficient to sustain me where his will leads me. I’m still not an eloquent speaker or a great visionary. But I do have gifts to share, and today I really do believe that God will be with me and give me everything I need to participate in his work in Binghampton and elsewhere. I agree with the writer who said that when we find our vocation, we learn how to play in the world. This has been the easiest thing I have ever done and certainly is the most fun. |